St. Stephen's BNS Blog

St. Stephen's De La Salle
Waterford, Ireland

Wk12: The energy sandwich

Once there was a kid who was so energetic that he could not stay still for a single second. But one day he was eating his lunch but little did he know there was a battery in his white sandwich once he took a bite he passed out 1 day later…. “what happened said the kid” you have a battery in your stomach “WHAT!!!! shouted the kid” when the kid got up he ran so fast that in 1 second he was on the other side of the world “what’s happened to me said the kid” the kid ran so fast that once he hit a wall splatter r.i.p the kid…..

5 thoughts on “Wk12: The energy sandwich”

  1. Hi Faustas,
    Thank you for sharing your piece! I loved the cool idea of your piece! I would have never thought of someone eating the battery. Did you know that if you eat a battery than you would get very sick and possibly die, like the character in this story. Just like this kid in your story I eat sandwiches all the time. In the future, I would recommend to bold or change the color of your needed five words. Also, make sure to include all the words, you forget about hurried. Come check out my blog!

    Happy writing,
    Evie in Illinois

  2. Dear Faustas,

    A really nice story! This is a very imaginative piece of descriptive writing. You form a comic plotline out of something which should seem pretty serious. The piece really shows the dangers of not checking what you eat! I can relate to this as I love comic scenes, and they often seem to thrive on what may be harrowing news, never missing an opportunity for inspiration. I like the way you frame how he wakes up a day after the incident, clueless as to what has happened. You demonstrate good use of grammar and punctuation, such as your use of quotation marks. I wonder what would have happened to the character if he hadn’t crashed into the wall? Keep up the good work! 

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